Apples and Oranges

When we see someone being placed into a position of leadership, or called to a position of service that we see ourselves better suited for, what does our heart feel; does it constrict within us, resenting (begrudging) the individual, or does it rejoice? 

Comparison is a form of measurement that can lead us down the slippery slope of sin. It yields works of the flesh such as jealousy, envy, bitterness, backbiting, gossip, derision, and unkind judgment of others. There is great danger when we begin to compare ourselves against another, especially within the church body. It can bring divisions among brethren that can be irreparable. I confess that I have been guilty of comparison and have had trouble with envy. All the enemy needs is a foothold if I give him the chance, and he begins to whisper all sorts of wrong thoughts in my head. 

Side Note: Sin is not sin if you do not answer the door of temptation. If you are tempted to envy, repent at the first thought and move on, it then does not birth sin because you do not dwell on it, letting it take root (James 1:14-15).

 

I have struggled with comparison in part because of the way I grew up. This is by no means an excuse, but it does show me a root cause as to why I have struggled with it. Many people have root causes for their behavior but once identified they can begin working on it, and with God’s help, overcome their weakness for it. The root cause of my behavior was in part because of my childhood. 

My childhood was very violent. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father who would beat my mother mercilessly. After my mother left my father, she had her own brokenness to deal with, so I grew up lacking praise and acknowledgment as a child. It seemed that my efforts were often greeted with disregard and no recognition whatsoever. Any achievement came without merit. As children, we seek these things from our parents; we want to know we matter and have value. Consequently, because I was starved this acknowledgement, as an adult, I found myself seeking to fill this gaping hole from others, especially those in positions of authority, interesting enough. I found myself doing and serving for the reward of recognition and praise. It fed a deep reservoir that needed filling. I believe comparison comes from a deep need to be recognized. But through the work of the Holy Spirit I came to realize that it was a heart sickness I did not want in my life, and God used my time in the word to show me this.

During one of my studies, the Lord led me to read 1 Corinthians 3 to 4:1. This part of scripture talks about being babes in Christ and still struggling with envy, strife, and divisions among believers. It broke my heart to tears when I realized that I had been serving carnally. That I was seeking fleshly desires and accolades for my own gain and not for His glory. God disciplines those He loves, and He did that day with me, but He did it in great love and tenderness because that is how He teaches us. He truly is the greatest parent. He desires for us to come up higher with Him, but He can’t if all we do is look around at others and what they are doing compared to us; …But they [who are], measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12). How powerful and quickly our emotions of jealousy and envy can rise up within us when we are still walking in our carnal nature. This was the situation Paul faced with the church in Corinth. A church with problems, struggles, and pressures that needed addressing if they were to grow spiritually. 

A Study of 1 Corinthians 3:1-4

Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ.  I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world? When one of you says, “I am a follower of Paul,” and another says, “I follow Apollos,” aren’t you acting just like people of the world? (I Corinthians 3:1-4 NLT) 

Paul starts out 1 Corinthians 3 expressing to the church of Corinth that he can’t even speak to them as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. Paul desired greatly to feed them solid food, getting to the meat of the word, but they were still acting fleshly. For He saw envy, strife, and divisions among them, calling them out as behaving like mere men; men who still walked as the world did. They were gloating and laying claim as to whose ministry camp they came from….comparing themselves with one another. When we are not fully walking in the Spirit, we do not exhibit the fruit of the spirit. 

…Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish. (Galatians 5:17 NKJV) 

It is necessary that we can be instructed as believers when God is bringing disciplinary instruction our way. Paul was doing just this when speaking to the men in Corinth because they were still behaving like the world by comparing themselves to each other. If we are to manifest fruit in our walk with God, the fruit should be evident; the evidence of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control towards one another. We who belong to Christ have to crucify the flesh and its passions and desires; desires to elevate ourselves against another; to gloat and proclaim superiority over another. 

If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another (Galatians 5:25-26 NKJV). 

God cannot, and will not, use us if we are still walking in our carnal state. It becomes about us when feelings of strife, envy, and jealousy engulf our emotions. It is a “me first” mentality rather than a “God first” mindset. We cannot walk around thinking what can we get for it—what will I be credited for? If we find ourselves serving without the heart of loving others beyond ourselves, we do for our own conceit. I want to learn to rejoice with my sister or brother when God elevates them, not begrudge them. Are we not just mere servants? 

Let a man consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. (I Corinthians 4:1 NKJV) 

Let the Lord be our judge for it is He and He alone who gives the increase. One may water, and one may plant, but it is God who gets the glory, and each one will receive his just reward according to their individual labor, so why compare? So, if you are struggling with comparison, I’d say what Barney Fife of The Andy Griffith show would say, “Nip it, Nip it in the bud!” and move on.

Happy

Blessed [Happy] are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3

My husband and I enjoy watching the show Shark Tank where entrepreneurs pitch their business ideas to the “sharks”, men and women who have the capital to take their business to the next level. If Happiness were a product that someone was selling, I believe this entrepreneur wouldn’t need the help of the Sharks because their sales would go through the roof. In fact, I believe the Sharks would be calling them up to get a piece of the action!

The promise of happiness is used in sales pitches for anything being sold today, whether it’s a new car, house, job, exercise equipment, food, clothes, and the list goes on. You’ve seen the commercials with happy people dancing in their cars, dancing down the street, or fitting into their skinny jeans. Just sit and watch HSN (Home Shopping Network) for 5 minutes. All their sales pitches revolve around their product making you happy, after all what else could you want out of life then that set of measuring spoons, that is until the next item for sale comes up. Money too has been associated with happiness. 

 Lottery tickets sell in the millions every year because people want to win, so they can be happy. People say things like, if only I were rich, all my problems would go away, resulting in happiness.

But then there are those who are rich and all they have is misery because they have so much debt from over spending to the point of bankruptcy. Movies are another source that uses the theme of happy to lure sales. 

People like watching movies with happy endings or the word “Happy” in the title in hopes of feeling…well happy. There’s Happy Feet, Pursuit of Happiness, The Happy Elf, Madea’s Big Happy Family, and so on. But in 2011, a documentary called Happy came out. Looking at a world full of depression and overworked and overstressed individuals, the number one answer given to the question, “What do you want out of life”, was to be happy. This documentary was based on a new cutting edge science called positive psychology. 

In the end the documentary after following several stories of people around the world that exemplified happy lives, the documentary concluded that exercise, relationships, and positive thinking were at the core of what made people happy. 

The world seems to lack happiness and people search for it in many different ways; some even believe that only being with someone else can make them happy. Men and women around the world, in all cultures, believe that they can only be truly happy in a relationship. This is evident by today’s multiple internet dating sites. Many relationships are based and started on the premise that this sole individual can make them happy for the rest of their lives. But when that doesn’t work, they go on to believe that having a child can make them happy. So, if all these things above don’t bring happiness, what does? 

All the promises of happiness from the world are just smoke and mirrors compared to the true source of happiness mentioned in Matthew. But before we can attain that state of being, we need to be depleted of this world.

The truth of the matter is that happiness does not come by way of things or people. They can add to our happiness, but they are not the source of it. Jesus said that the poor in spirit are happy [blessed] because they will inherit the kingdom of heaven. The assurance of God’s kingdom at the end of life is where true happiness lies. But in order to attain it, one has to be poor in spirit; to lose all in order to gain Christ. 

For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:26 (also Mark 8:36)

I love the parable of the hidden treasure in Matthew 13:44. 

Again the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.  

In the book of Isaiah 55:2, it says, “Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to me and eat what is good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance.  Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; And I will make an everlasting covenant with you—The sure mercies of David.”

Everything we hold dear God wants, including us. Matthew chapter 6 talks about storing your treasures in heaven (v.20). If our eyes are only set on what we can accumulate in this world then our treasure is not in heaven, it is on things that will burn, rust, mold, or be stolen. When we are poor of spirit, we are free of worry. There is no anxiety about losing our blessing. A person poor of spirit, has come to the end of themselves and has exhausted all manner of seeking happiness in the things of this world; they realize that they need something beyond what this world has to offer. It is only then that they truly have need for God. God seems to be that last thing people look for when seeking happiness but their search always ends with Him waiting.

When you have the promise of eternal life after living on this earth 70+ years, there is no greater happiness then to know that you will be in heaven for eternity. 

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the unglodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. 

Psalm 1:1-3

The Gift of Friendship

This past year I have undergone a very difficult personal trial that left me spent physically, emotionally, and mentally, but all the richer spiritually. In truth, it had been one of the darkest and deepest spiritual times I have had in many, many, years. But if it were not for the saints and their sisterly and brotherly friendship, love and prayers, I do not know how I could have survived. God surrounded me with a hedge of fellowship that I can never repay except to pay them homage in this post. Because of their obedience to the Lord, they became my strength in my time of weakness; they lifted my hands in prayer when I could no longer hold them up for myself. Many of them were obedient to wake up and pray in the wee hours of the morning because God placed my name in their hearts. They didn’t know the extent of my situation but God did. I don’t know, or will ever know, on this side of heaven, what spiritual warfare I was in the midst of, but God knew and saw it all and called for reinforcements. God is all powerful and can do all things, but how blessed we are when we are called to come along side Him in battle to strengthen our brethren. God showed His immeasurable love to me through them. That is how God works, and we are the rich recipients of this love (Psalm 35). 

A friend loves at all times, And a bother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17 NKJV

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17 NKJV

In the book of Ruth, Naomi’s daughter-in-law, Ruth, became her closest and dearest friend. After losing not only her husband but also her two sons, Naomi found herself returning to her home land, Judah, empty handed. So much was her grief, that as friends greeted her by name as she entered town, she told them to call her Mara for she went out full and came back with nothing (Ruth 1:20-21). Naomi had admonished her two daughter-in-laws to go back to their people, but it says that Ruth clung to her for dear life (Ruth 1:14). Read Ruth’s words of devotion:

Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, If anything but death parts you and me. (Ruth 1:16-17)

Ruth had purposed in her heart to never leave Naomi’s side until death parted them. Ruth not only sacrificed herself for Naomi’s well being, but she restored Naomi’s name once again by giving her a grandchild. Ruth loved Naomi as her own self (Matthew 22:39).

Another deep bond of friendship was between Jonathan and David. The story of their friendship is found 1 Samuel 18, 19, 20. After David defeated the Philistine Goliath and stood before King Saul, it says that on that day Jonathan’s soul was knit (joined, weaved, intertwined) to David’s, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul (18:1). Even Saul knew of Jonathan’s devotion to David over his own royal family (20:30). And true to Saul’s concerns, it was Jonathan that warned David of the eminent danger to his life (20:41-42). What a beautiful picture of friendship and love, devotion and sacrifice. These men would remain loyal to one another even after Jonathan’s death (2 Samuel 9).

Are our hearts knit together in the body that we love the other person as our own soul? A heart that says, the Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts us?

In Ephesians 4:15-16, Paul writes speaking of the church, “[For we are] joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does it’s share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love” (Read also Colossians 2:19). In Colossians 2:2 it reads, “that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and of Christ,” 

Every joint supplies what the body needs and by doing it's share, it causes the body to grow. A huge part of what the joint supplies is encouragement.  Encouragement is food for the body of Christ, for without it the body would not have the strength to go on. At what point in your life, were not the words of a friend breathe to your soul in order to keep pushing forward? If you look at the word encourage, there is another word imbedded into it...courage. The prefix en- means to cause to be in. In other words, you cause one to be in a state of courage when you encourage them.

It was a vital part of Paul's ministry to encourage believers in every epistle. Jesus encouraged Peter when He saw him after his resurrection. There is nothing worse in human life than to feel like a failure, and Jesus knew it then and knows it today. That is why He would never want us to feel alone, dejected, or defeated.

[For]Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to lift him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

We are not meant to traverse this world alone as we encounter the trials and tribulations of our human existence. We need to be encouraged by our brothers and sisters. The world and this life are at times too difficult to trek on our own. Every part of the body is called to do its share as it says in Ephesians to keep everyone going strong when the going gets tough. Jesus knew that we would have moments when we would fall, feel weary, have nothing left to give, but he supplied us with the body of believers that can come along side us when those times want to overtake us. Hebrews 12:12-13 speaks of strengthening the hands of those that hang down, whose knees are feeble, and to help make the crooked path straight for their feet by speaking the word of God to them, so that the lame may no longer be dislocated from the body but healed. So, the next time you find someone in the deep oceans of life, or you yourself are in the deep, call out to those that are closer than a brother and find encouragement in your time of need as I did when I was in the oceans deep.  

And let us never forget, that the greatest friend of all is Jesus Himself, and He is a friend of us all at all times. He knows you and me more intimately than Ruth knew Naomi, or Jonathan knew David. It says that He knows our thoughts before we even speak them. It speaks of His devotion and love to us in Psalm 139. Long before we were formed He knew us and separated us. There is no height, width, or depth that can separate us from His sight. No darkness so dark that His light cannot shine through, no deep so deep that His hand cannot reach down to pull us up. He gave all, His life, that we may be where He is for eternity. He is the ultimate friend.

For] This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. John 15:12