How do we love the difficult people in our lives?
In truth, I have had, and still have, some unlovable
people in my life. It has been a struggle to love them because of the way they
have treated me. In my flesh, I would “love” nothing more than to lash out at
them and give them a piece of my mind, if truth be told. And, I will be honest
in saying that it has been a real struggle to not allow roots of bitterness to take
hold of my heart.
Have you ever had really stubborn roots in your
garden that no matter how many times you pull them out they still come back?
Well, I envision a root of bitterness to be like an unrelenting weed that never
stops trying to take root inside the heart. It tries to get its interweaving
arms around it to choke it.
A root of bitterness can be hard to pull or eradicate
from our live, but pull them we must, because if that weed is allowed to flower
then hate will overtake the heart. There are seeds of bitterness that can be placed in our hearts
by people in our lives who unfortunately can be puppets in the enemy’s hands.
A puppeteer
is a person who manipulates… a puppet… to create the illusion of
life. The puppeteer may be visible to or hidden from the audience. A
puppeteer can operate a puppet indirectly by the use of strings, rods,
wires, [and] electronics or directly by his or her own hands placed inside the puppet or holding it
externally. …the puppeteer's role is to manipulate the physical object
in such a manner that the audience believes the object is imbued with
life. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppeteer).
Some people find puppets already
scary, but this is even scarier to think about in the spiritual sense. We have
an enemy that does exactly this with people in our lives to get us riled up. He
manipulates people in our lives to take us out, to make us react in our fleshly
nature, and then sits back and laughs at our reaction.
So, what can we do, how do we love someone who has
hurt us and not allow that bitterness to get a hold of our hearts. I can say
from experience that it is not easy, but necessary. It cannot be done in this
human tent. If you depend on your human emotions, strength or resolve, you will
fail…guaranteed. Only by God’s grace can we love the unlovely people in our
lives. There’s no other root treatment that will truly kill this root.
Some of you may be thinking…but you don’t know what
this person has done to me, said about me. And I don’t. But I do know that the
pain you are feeling is real and it hurts. It is like a poison that you can’t
get out of your system. It is the kind of pain that wants to consume you,
depress you. It keeps you awake at night and the first thought that greets you
in the morning…I know because I have been there too. And as hard as this may be
to read, you can’t change the way people may chose to treat you—but you can
change the way you choose to respond.
We need to choose
to remain in His peace. We need to choose
to remain in His joy. We need to choose
to be in His presence every day. We need to sing His praises no matter how we
feel inside. That is the only defense against this type of root. It is the only
way to keep our heart neutralized from this sin. Then and only then can we grow
the sweet fruit of righteousness in our lives.
Repentance
should first be heard from our own lips for those we have hurt, and then pray
for those who have hurt us to come to repentance that they too may be
saved.
Work at living
in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not
holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to
receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows
up to trouble you, corrupting many. Hebrews
12:14-15 (NLT)
Get rid of all
bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil
behavior.
Ephesians 4:31 (NLT)
Esau
allowed a root of bitterness to take root in your heart. In Hebrews 12:14-17, we
see the warning written for all to heed saying that Esau because of his
bitterness towards Jacob and the promise concerning him allowed himself to
discount his own birthright for a morsel of food. That morsel of food tasted
better in his mouth then what God had for him.
Beware
brethren that that “morsel of food,” your bitterness, does not become more
savory in your mouth than the sweet reward God has for you and take it upon
your heart to retaliate. Anger and
payback can steal away our birthright. Check your heart then and see if there
is any root of bitterness that needs to be eradicated. Esau’s heart became so
hard that there was no place for repentance—we too have to be careful that we
do not also harden our hearts towards God’s leading.
Consider Him who
endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and
discouraged in your souls. Hebrews 12:3
Jesus
is our perfect example on how to deal with the unlovely people in our lives and
how not to allow a root of bitterness to overtake us. The world will push you to
the point of wanting to revile but when it does, consider Him, and draw
strength from knowing that you are not alone. That He knows what you’re going
through. He sees your pain and sorrow because He walked that road before you.
…who, when He was
reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but
committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; I Peter 2:23
Blessed are you
when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you
falsely for My sake.
Matthew 5:11
